The terms “Consensual non-monogamy (CNM)” or “Ethical non-monogamy (ENM)” have been cropping up in social media increasingly over the last decade. These are umbrella terms used to denote any relationship dynamic other than monogamy: including swinging, polyamory, and open or monogamish relationships. It is often used to talk about any alternative to traditional monogamous (mono-normative) relationships. In ENM all partners involved agree that having sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people is acceptable, allowable and even encouraged.

But as with any linguistic niche, our vernacular is changing. And slowly creators and micro-influencers are dropping the ‘Ethical’ prefix. Here’s why.

1. It concedes the immorality of non-monogamy

In…


Once upon a time, for this is how all good stories start, there were two definitions in the a wood. On the one side is a definition of a relationship and on the other a definition of an individual.

  1. Polyamory/us: a relationship in which there are multiple concurrent loving relationships.
  2. Polyamory/us: a person with is the ability/capacity to love more than one person simultaneously

On the surface this very well appears like two parallel paths to the same place. But they diverge subtly, like a fork in the road, and lead us to two very different places. …


NRE — New Relationship Energy. Or maybe you prefer the term ‘limerence’. Or ‘the honeymoon period’. Whatever you call it you’ve likely experienced that unique blend of dopamine and norepinephrine, during the start of a new romantic connection. The attraction, obsessive thoughts, fantasies, seemingly unquenchable desire…

For the polyamorous — those that love more than one person at the same time — the term “New Relationship Energy” as been in usage since in the mid 1980’s, and is used to earmark an important dynamic within non-monogamous relationships. …


Running a ‘giveaway’ is a great tool for growing your brand’s online following. The concept is really simple: you offer up some free, physical perks to your audience, and ask them to do some level of engagement to ‘enter’ the draw — following you account, liking or sharing a post, using a hashtag, or tagging a friend in the comments. At the close of the giveaway you randomly ‘draw’ or select a winner. …


*This essay assumes knowledge of polyamory and non-monogamy, and uses language that some readers may be unfamiliar with. There are quotes used in this article which are approximations and anonymized for use.

The ‘Relationship Escalator’ is a term coined in 2012 by Amy Gahran, under her pen-name Aggie Sez. As of 2021, the metaphor has weaved its way into common parlance in non-monogamous communities, and many have sought to ‘step off’ it. In this essay, I will test Gahrans original metaphor and lay out a view that we have, in fact, unconsciously replicated the escalator within our communities. …


The concept of a sliding scale is simple: the cost of an item, service or event is not fixed but instead is contingent on a variable associated with the consumer. Here is everything you need to know to implement it.

It’s 2021, and if you aren’t using a sliding scale for your products, you are behind the times! Whether its for events, conferences, maybe the consulting fees you offer, or educational courses you run, or event the item prices on your website, the sliding scale approach in on the rise! Here is everything you need to know to start implementing it now!

Sliding Scale is…

  • Sliding scale is a form of mutual aid that recognizes that money is a barrier to access. This barrier to access may effect women more than men, queer/gender-non-conforming+ folx more straight allies, BIPOC (Black, indigenous and people of…

On 22nd Nov 2020, Aaliyah Paris, a sexuality & anti-racist educator, and birth doula in training turned to Instagram to share her story of narcissistic abuse at the hands of self-proclaimed polyamorous guru Jeremie Saunders. She called on the polyamorous community to stand in solidarity with her. She demanded accountability from her alleged abuser(s) — a clear request for acknowledgement and apology from Jeremie. Although many polyamorous and sexuality educators have echoed her call for accountability, they have been met by silence from Aaliyah’s accused abuser. Now, as Jeremie Saunders prepares to leverage the moment for his personal gain, by…


The yuletide holidays are going to look different this year! With many people facing illness, distance and isolation over the Christmas period, it’s hard to know how to approach this season of good will. But online, the holidays offer the opportunity for reconnecting. And over on Instagram, something very special is happening this December…

Those living in polyamorous dynamics — those that love and/or have romantic/sexual relationships with more than one other person — have plenty of tips, tricks and strategies to navigating the holiday season. From the logistics of gift-giving over distance to healthy discussions about risk, the polyamorous…


This is the definitive list of the best polyamorous podcasts for 2021! Whether you are interested in knowing more about polyamory, a seasoned polyamorous lover, or just interested in expanding you listening, this is for you.

Polyamory: is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved

It feels like polyamory is suddenly everywhere! The BBC introduced Trigonometry in March 2020, featuring an existing couple opening their relationship to a ‘third’. In 2018, Louis Theroux travelled Oregon, Portland to talk with people engaged in polyamorous relationships for the…

Claire Louise Travers

Claire Louise Travers is a writer, podcaster, and humanitarian aid worker. She writes on Medium about polyamory, ethical aid, and international development

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store